leoshoemaker.com
 | |  | |  | |  | |  |
Albums, commentary, inspiration and information
| How I found a new life by Leo Shoemaker |
My upbringing was in a
family of eight children. We
lived in a small two
bedroom house with one
bath in a rural Kentucky
town. Daddy worked for the
government and commuted
to Louisville each day. Our
mother cooked, washed
clothes, tended to us and
family of eight children. We
lived in a small two
bedroom house with one
bath in a rural Kentucky
town. Daddy worked for the
government and commuted
to Louisville each day. Our
mother cooked, washed
clothes, tended to us and
basically had no life as anyone would think of it today. I wore
hand me down clothes and thought nothing of it. My mother
used chicken feed bags as material to make undershorts for
the boys. We played marbles on the ground outside the house
and fought with homemade bows and arrows, sling shots and
B-B guns. Eventually, we all survived, attended college and
made successful lives for ourselves.
Our parents took us to church each Sunday. The church in our
small town in Kentucky also held daily masses and I attended
them as well before school each day. I later became an altar
boy and participated in numerous special services at church.
But all this church attendance did not make me feel close to
God or improve my increasingly selfish habits. My sarcastic
attitude and behavior toward my brothers and sisters got
worse and worse.
In college, with the emphasis on logic and reason I slowly
came to an agnostic view concerning God. But as I neared my
last year in college, I also began to see that life didn’t provide
the satisfaction I felt it was supposed to. I had succeeded in
college, been in a management internship in business, dated
girls and for all this, I felt empty inside. At the same time, my
general attitude was negative and downbeat. On one
occasion I nearly got into a fistfight with a classmate over a
trivial argument. This incident jarred me into the realization of
how empty and out of control my life seemed and yet I was
supposed to be looking forward to a great career as an
engineer, making a good salary and doing interesting work.
One day at one of my college engineering classes, one of my
class mates walked to the front of the class before the
professor entered. He announced that he was having a little
gathering at his dorm room to talk about life after college and
invited anyone interested to come. That was a pretty vague
invitation but I decided to go. Several others also showed up a
few nights later and we all sat around and related in turn what
we planned to do with our lives after graduation. When the
host classmate took his turn at last, he explained how his life
had been changed by a personal experience with Jesus
Christ while on an internship job a few months before. I sat up
at this as I had never heard anyone ever tell of an experience
like this. It really got my attention. One big reason it did was
that this classmate’s whole life and attitude had radically
changed for the better in the few weeks since the previous
school term. This young man had a notorious reputation as
having been one of the most arrogant, loud-mouthed and self-
centered guys in our class. Something had obviously changed
his life. He was like a different person.
hand me down clothes and thought nothing of it. My mother
used chicken feed bags as material to make undershorts for
the boys. We played marbles on the ground outside the house
and fought with homemade bows and arrows, sling shots and
B-B guns. Eventually, we all survived, attended college and
made successful lives for ourselves.
Our parents took us to church each Sunday. The church in our
small town in Kentucky also held daily masses and I attended
them as well before school each day. I later became an altar
boy and participated in numerous special services at church.
But all this church attendance did not make me feel close to
God or improve my increasingly selfish habits. My sarcastic
attitude and behavior toward my brothers and sisters got
worse and worse.
In college, with the emphasis on logic and reason I slowly
came to an agnostic view concerning God. But as I neared my
last year in college, I also began to see that life didn’t provide
the satisfaction I felt it was supposed to. I had succeeded in
college, been in a management internship in business, dated
girls and for all this, I felt empty inside. At the same time, my
general attitude was negative and downbeat. On one
occasion I nearly got into a fistfight with a classmate over a
trivial argument. This incident jarred me into the realization of
how empty and out of control my life seemed and yet I was
supposed to be looking forward to a great career as an
engineer, making a good salary and doing interesting work.
One day at one of my college engineering classes, one of my
class mates walked to the front of the class before the
professor entered. He announced that he was having a little
gathering at his dorm room to talk about life after college and
invited anyone interested to come. That was a pretty vague
invitation but I decided to go. Several others also showed up a
few nights later and we all sat around and related in turn what
we planned to do with our lives after graduation. When the
host classmate took his turn at last, he explained how his life
had been changed by a personal experience with Jesus
Christ while on an internship job a few months before. I sat up
at this as I had never heard anyone ever tell of an experience
like this. It really got my attention. One big reason it did was
that this classmate’s whole life and attitude had radically
changed for the better in the few weeks since the previous
school term. This young man had a notorious reputation as
having been one of the most arrogant, loud-mouthed and self-
centered guys in our class. Something had obviously changed
his life. He was like a different person.
of the gospel. I had gotten a lot of religious training in parochial
school so I knew the essentials of God, the life of Christ, the Trinity,
and so on. But it was only academic knowledge and was more in my
head than in my heart.
And I had never actually seen what the bible says. I knew that Jesus
had died for sin but I hadn't seen it as a personal matter. I had not
realized that Jesus' death was full payment for my personal sins. It
had not been clear to me before that if Jesus paid for my sins then
there was nothing more I could add to this; therefore, I could be
assured of an eternity with God simply by accepting the free gift of
Christ's redemption for me.
As we progressed through the simple Q&A lesson guides, I came to
see from the bible that the key to the Christian life was “belief.” But
this belief was more than an intellectual acceptance of truth; it was
commitment of the whole heart to Christ. Still, I couldn’t get a grip on
it and eventually became aggravated at myself. One day while alone,
and thinking about what it meant to “believe,” I became so frustrated
that I remember looking up and saying, “God, whatever it means,
help me to believe.” Looking back, I think this might have been the
first truly honest prayer I ever made. Certainly, it was the most
important one up to that time. I became aware somehow of the
presence of the Lord in a different way than I had ever experienced. I
think all God was waiting for was for me to admit my own inability
to grasp Him and instead let Him grasp me.
I related this experience with my friend in the bible study and as I did
so, I was overcome with a sense of joy and excitement that God was
real in my life, He was a real person to me, for the first time. Over the
days following, and as we talked more about this and looked at what
the bible teaches, I realized that I had become a new person inside.
My old desires were replaced by new ones. My greatest desire was
to know more about God and how I could have a deeper relationship
with Him. Amazingly, the teachings in the bible became alive to me
and I could read the bible with much better understanding.
As I depended on the Lord, my attitude and behavior began to
change. My temper seemed to go away, and I found a concern for
other people for the first time. There was a growing sense within that
my old life had been a waste and that my life ahead was different
than my past. There is a passage in the bible that says, “Therefore, if
any man be in Christ, he is a new creature…” That passage
seemed to be in play in my own life as well as many other wonderful
promises in the bible. My life now had purpose where it had once
been empty.
I mark this as the watershed event of my life. No other event has had
the importance of this one. It's important to keep in mind that I did
nothing to deserve this. It was given to me by the Lord and all that is
good in my life is entirely to His credit. I owe everything to Him. Christ
is my life; He gives meaning and purpose that I could find nowhere
else.
school so I knew the essentials of God, the life of Christ, the Trinity,
and so on. But it was only academic knowledge and was more in my
head than in my heart.
And I had never actually seen what the bible says. I knew that Jesus
had died for sin but I hadn't seen it as a personal matter. I had not
realized that Jesus' death was full payment for my personal sins. It
had not been clear to me before that if Jesus paid for my sins then
there was nothing more I could add to this; therefore, I could be
assured of an eternity with God simply by accepting the free gift of
Christ's redemption for me.
As we progressed through the simple Q&A lesson guides, I came to
see from the bible that the key to the Christian life was “belief.” But
this belief was more than an intellectual acceptance of truth; it was
commitment of the whole heart to Christ. Still, I couldn’t get a grip on
it and eventually became aggravated at myself. One day while alone,
and thinking about what it meant to “believe,” I became so frustrated
that I remember looking up and saying, “God, whatever it means,
help me to believe.” Looking back, I think this might have been the
first truly honest prayer I ever made. Certainly, it was the most
important one up to that time. I became aware somehow of the
presence of the Lord in a different way than I had ever experienced. I
think all God was waiting for was for me to admit my own inability
to grasp Him and instead let Him grasp me.
I related this experience with my friend in the bible study and as I did
so, I was overcome with a sense of joy and excitement that God was
real in my life, He was a real person to me, for the first time. Over the
days following, and as we talked more about this and looked at what
the bible teaches, I realized that I had become a new person inside.
My old desires were replaced by new ones. My greatest desire was
to know more about God and how I could have a deeper relationship
with Him. Amazingly, the teachings in the bible became alive to me
and I could read the bible with much better understanding.
As I depended on the Lord, my attitude and behavior began to
change. My temper seemed to go away, and I found a concern for
other people for the first time. There was a growing sense within that
my old life had been a waste and that my life ahead was different
than my past. There is a passage in the bible that says, “Therefore, if
any man be in Christ, he is a new creature…” That passage
seemed to be in play in my own life as well as many other wonderful
promises in the bible. My life now had purpose where it had once
been empty.
I mark this as the watershed event of my life. No other event has had
the importance of this one. It's important to keep in mind that I did
nothing to deserve this. It was given to me by the Lord and all that is
good in my life is entirely to His credit. I owe everything to Him. Christ
is my life; He gives meaning and purpose that I could find nowhere
else.
___________________________________________________
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
-Jim Elliot, martyred missionary to the Auca Indians in Ecuador
-Jim Elliot, martyred missionary to the Auca Indians in Ecuador
| Copyright © 2005 leoshoemaker.com |
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
A few days later, he invited me to join
him and several others in a personal
bible study on Saturday mornings in
his dorm room. As it turned out, there
were only three of us who began a
systematic study of the simple truths
him and several others in a personal
bible study on Saturday mornings in
his dorm room. As it turned out, there
were only three of us who began a
systematic study of the simple truths